“Geraldine, it is easier to just let it go and start again with a new one…”
That was the line that Yoshi would always tell me whenever I refused to give up on the clay that I was molding into a tumbler. Yoshi was my pottery teacher and there was never a session that he would not say those words to me because I kept on working on a hopeless earth, in which at the end of the day, I would finally give up for I could no longer fix the disfigured mud. Sometimes, he would tell me not to worry about the wasted clay because there was a plenty of it in the workstation, besides, it could be recycled again. While he appreciated my perseverance, he did not want me to waste more time on a piece of earth that could no longer be molded correctly as the more I tried to reshape it, the more disfigured it became. As a result, a wasted time and effort since the lesson was only 2 hours and I could have used my energy more efficiently have I listened to my teacher.
It’s been five months since Yoshi left to US, yet his words still resound in my ears, telling me to just let it go and start again… whenever I refuse to let go of someone that I think so dear for me- like that clergyman whom I was hoping to marry last year (only to find out that he has gotten married earlier this year), that segment producer who promised to formalize our relationship after the Holy Month (then he has gotten engaged all of a sudden), that Italian guy who wanted to date my friend after dating me, that ex-boyfriend of mine who cheated on me with my ex-best friend (although it was so last year, they still managed to bother me from time to time), that chef who once told me that he always knew that I was the right one for him (yet he has put me on a friendzone many times) and etc. Now that I’m looking back on the past, it finally hits me that all of them are pieces of clay (that I was hoping to turn into a tumbler lol) that drained my time, energy and emotions becuase I refused to give up that soon.
While I could no longer reclaim the time that I have lost, the tears that I have shed, the effort and the feelings that I have given, I’m still thankful because I become a stronger and better woman for I have finally learn the art of letting go and start with a new one (never say die, tomorrow is another clay- I mean guy hahaha joke only).
Kidding aside, I miss my ceramic lessons with Yoshi and I still love to learn more about the art of pottery; however, I have to take things one at a time, so now, my focus is on painting (and other stuff). Hopefully, in the future I will be able to continue my course in pottery because this art does not only hone patience, hardwork and creativity, but it also teaches the “art of letting go.”