In the era in which every love story is posted on social media, being single is a bit hard because seeing these posts adds to the pressure that you need to settle down soon or find that “right one.” Plus the question “when are you going to get married” that has been thrown to you many times in any gatherings that you attend and the kind of advice that people tell you such as “don’t be too choosy” or “lower down your standards” do not help in boosting yourself confidence either. Therefore, it is easy to fall into thinking that you are not good enough because what you always get is either unrequited love, the feeling of no one is getting attracted to you, or the idea that “just take the first person who will show interest on you even if that person isn’t the one of your liking,” resulting to a broken heart and a tormented mind at the end of the day. Then your good counsels will tell you to “love yourself first”– something that is easy to say for them, but hard to do for those who are suffering deep within. So, after all the depression and heartaches that you are going through, how can you even “love yourself?” Well, my answer to this question is simple- FIND YOURSELF first.
“Find yourself first,” why? Because it is easier to love yourself when you have found all the goodness in you, have discovered your hidden talents, have strengthened your weaknesses and have expanded your skills and capabilities. When you find yourself, you will feel that you are good enough for everyone who is aligned to your path, you will understand that you don’t have to lower down standards just to fit into the world that you don’t even belong in the first place, and you will realize that you can do many things better than the last ones before you find yourself.
“Find yourself first,” but how? There are many ways to find yourself. Some have found themselves in the presence of God and devoting themselves into serving Him, then later have found the right husband/wife for them, while some have found themselves in meditation, reaching their subconscious level and finding inner peace. Some have found themselves in writing and became a millionaire. Others have found themselves in the form of arts and whose artworks have passed through generations after generations, while some have found themselves in music whose sounds have been immortalized already. Some have found themselves in education and have produced the world’s greatest leaders, while some have found themselves in Science and invented the world’s firsts in terms of technology.
There are so many ways to find yourself. Whether it is in the form of religion, arts, music, literature, science, humanitarian and charity works, making this world a better place, etc., find something that you can be passionate about, think about what you truly want to be and work towards to achieving it. When you do this, you will realize that you are loving yourself more and more each day. Once you embrace who you truly are, it is only then that everything will fall into its right place- including that right one that you have been searching all your life.
Love is not all about finding the right one, sometimes it is all about finding yourself.