2018: A Year of Self-Discovery

Today is January 1, 2019. As the day marks page 1 of 365, I purposely take this opportunity to look back at the past as I want to make this day to do self-check and realize who are the people and which situations that I need to leave alongside the year that has already passed. Hence, I put into summary all the things- good or bad, that happened in 2018.

January 2018 marked my first ever trip with my new found best friend and travel buddy and churchmate- Aidhalor. It was also the month in which I rediscovered my talents in arts. I started sketching more realistic portraits compare to the ones drawn prior to 2018. I learned useful drawing techniques through reading and watching video tutorials. In conclusion, definitely, these two will definitely be a part of my 2019.

February was a month in which I became more daring and rebellious on my looks. From coloring my long hair red to rocking a pixie cut, I experimented to discover which haircut would suit me- a long hair or a very short one. Then I realized that it did not matter whether my crowning glory was long or short, as long as I could carry it and would always feel good about my self.

March was an adventurous one. From Fujairah to Abu Dhabi, I crossed the mountains just to see my longtime friend Cyra, whom I haven’t seen since 2013. With the help of Aidhalor, I was able to see Cyra again, though in a short meeting only, but a memorable one. I also took that moment to meet the then loved of my life, which little did I know, would be the last time that I would ever see him again.

April was the time when I had a relationship with a local guy, which was later on, stolen by a then-so-called-best friend (not Aidhalor, of course). It was also the month when I got a chance to see Perousia (another longtime friend based in Abu Dhabi) and spent the holiday with her and her family at the Emirates National Auto Museum. I also got a very rare opportunity to see the Backstreet Boys up close and have a picture with them.

May was the month when I started to paint. My first painting was a picture shot in Chefchaouen, Morocco. Since then, I explored different mediums in paintings. I also painted on ceramic plates. My first painting was supposedly a birthday gift, but due to ungrateful circumstances, I did not give to the celebrator and gave it to someone else.

June was a betrayal month. Flower- the so-called best friend, stole my local boyfriend by secretly chatting him while he and I were having troubles in our relationship, and later on, I discovered that she accepted him with wide open legs while he and I were still in a relationship. I may have forgiven them, but I will never forget what they have done to me because I had a breakdown and the only person I could rely on was in jail. P.S. Flower and my cheater ex-boyfriend are already buried in 2018, six feet below the ground.

July was a moment of redemption. I finally get rid of Flower and my cheater ex-boyfriend. I found new buddies, got back to painting and discovered a new “love interest” (which eventually, did not push through). P.S. Flower and my cheater ex-boyfriend are no longer welcome in my life and I have decided to burry them six feet below the ground.

August was a trouble time at work. The company suffered a great loss and everything was in chaos. I tried to leave many times but until now, I’m still with the company and helping my boss to rebuild it since the “toxic” employees are no longer working there.

September was a great opportunity to bond with my family and friends back home. I celebrated my 32nd birthday in the Philippines which I haven’t done since 2016. I was so happy because I reunited with my sister who was based in the US and with my brother who was in Subic. It was a happy family reunion and birthday celebration.

October was a change of environment. From a gloomy accommodation to a happy household, I realized that losing a company accommodation was a blessing in disguise. I found a family in the Barabara household and with that, I am forever grateful to the Lord.

November was yet another challenging month. I received a lot of rejection letters from the schools I applied. Although I got some successful applications, somehow, fate did not them push through. Until now, I don’t understand it, but I have high hopes that this year, God will give light on the reasons why He did not allow those things to happen.

December a month of peace, love, and joy. Finally, our company is at peace and everyone is working, although we are still on the rocks, we have high hopes that this year will be a great year for us to rebuild and improve stability. Right now, I am not in a relationship, but I have a new love and I will focus on it because I want to improve. I am also surrounded by real people, in which I found a love like a real family. In conclusion, I celebrated and ended the year with fun, joy, and laughter. I hope and I pray that this year will be better than 2018 and everything that I wish and hope for will turn into a concrete success. So I am ending this post with the verse that I wrote yesterday:

Lovers become friends,

Friends become strangers,

Strangers become a family,

Family remains a family,

People come and go,

Life is too short,

Live and be grateful,

Time is too precious,

Don’t be wasteful,

Leave the past behind,

Forgive, but never forget,

Yet don’t recall,

Just be at peace and give love,

For LOVE is the greatest gift of all.

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