When Chester Bennington died, the whole world was shocked. According to news, he committed suicide due to depression. Fans could not believe it. Everyone wondered why; everyone was asking how could a person like him (who seemed to have everything) could be depressed at all. It sounded unbelievable, unreal; it’s like a bad dream.
Since his death, awareness campaigns about depression, suicide, and mental health have risen up. There is even a plan to establish (or in the process of establishing) the “One More Light Foundation” that will help people with depression and mental illness. His wife has posted photos and videos of Chester’s happy moments (before his death) in order to educate people that depression could kill anyone silently, that it is a serious matter and to prevent fans from having (or copying) the same fate like Chester’s.
When he died, I didn’t make any comments on my FB about how I felt on his sudden death. I didn’t write anything about him not because I did not feel sad at all. I didn’t say anything about what he did because I knew how he felt, how it felt to suffer from the deepest part of the mind, how it felt to be wanting to end everything.
Depression is a kind of feeling that is hard to explain. Anyone could feel it. Even the richest, the most powerful, the most beloved, the most famous and most happy-looking person on Earth could suffer from it. It is more than just a feeling of sadness and loneliness. Even a person who is surrounded by his/her loved ones could feel that kind of loneliness that is unfathomable. Even a person who has the material and emotional security could have that kind of anxiety, which is buried deep in the innermost part of the subconscious mind that from time to time it goes out to the consciousness to make the person feel worthless and be worried about even on simplest things. Depression is like a little demon in the head that tells a person to feel this, to do that and that sudden desire of not wanting to live any longer.
I know how it feels because I am having this little demon in my head too. It is maybe hard to believe, but I have it since I was a kid. Many times in my life when I have considered committing suicide (and have tried it) so that my emotional sufferings would end. Thank God, I have survived this fight against taking my own life. I am not telling it now because I want to join the band of people with “depression,” but because I want to express how it feels to have a little demon in the head with a hope that I could encourage those people are suffering internally to be brave and speak up their mind so that the little demon in their heads will be unleashed, hence fight it with external support and most of all, fight it spiritually.
Suicide is not the solution to end our pain. Yes, depression is a kind of fight that is hard to win, but can still be won. Fighting that little demon is the hardest battle that anyone could encounter in life. It takes a great effort and will power to reject its whispering, and external forces and support are also needed to remove its power over a person’s mind.
I am addressing this to you, to you who are suffering from depression, to you who are being tormented right now by that little demon in your head, to you who want to end everything by taking your own life. Killing yourself is not the answer. I just want you to know that you are not alone in this personal battle, that there’s still hope. Have the courage to live. You can win this. We can win this. This our fight. Help is coming, someone is listening, you only need to ask.